I, Frankenstein

SPOILERS

It doesn't take more than a few minutes to realise that there isn't going to be much of a story to I, Frankenstein. That's because the film opens with a quick "here's all you need to know about Frankenstein" section that deals with the monster's creation, and his creators demise, in a flash.

OK. So we're not going to dwell on that then. What's next? Well, we get an intriguing early look at the demons and gargoyles. These look like cool creatures. Maybe we'll get a bit of story development now? Nope. Frankenstein's monster immediately gets taken to the gargoyle queen (really? a queen. they're not bees...) so he can be told the whole history of demons versus gargoyles. Sigh. Oh, and the queen tells the monster that she's going to call him Adam from now on... nice.

Off Adam goes and tries to hide from the demons for a couple of hundred years, killing the odd few who find him along the way. He gets a haircut and some decent clothes so that by the time he reaches the present day he can walk about in America without anyone seeming too upset by his appearance. Except it probably isn't America... since Frankenstein was European... and the gargoyles base is a Gothic cathedral that looks at least 400 years old... and the movie was filmed in Australia. But hey, who actually needs to know where a story is set when there really isn't much story.

Bill Nighy pops up as one of Lucifer's fellow fallen angels. Of course he has an English accent because he is the villain. There are some scientists too... actually only two scientists. One of which is female so that she can feel sympathy for Adam, which the male scientist doesn't... but he's only the assistant anyway so we don't need to care about him as he'll probably die anyway (I can't honestly remember if he does or not).

Bill has a plan for raising thousands of humans from the dead as hosts for the demons that have been bumped off by the gargoyles and Adam over the years. That should give him an edge in the war, since there only seem to be about a dozen gargoyles left at this point.

Don't worry though, because Adam might be a bit grumpy but he is the good guy and he's certainly going to win. Of course he nearly doesn't, but just trying is enough to earn him a soul, which then trumps Bill's (sorry, Naberius's) hand and it's happy days.

There's one last moment of peril when everyone falls into a giant hole in the ground, but unless we suddenly forgot that all the gargoyles are really good at flying, it's no surprise that all the good guys escape with minor scratches.

In one last major plot twist Adam decides that now he has a soul he's going to be called Frankenstein, after his formerly hated creator, from now on. I don't think he ever really liked the name Adam anyway... it didn't suit him.

Somehow, despite the clunky storytelling, this is a reasonably entertaining film. The effects and fight scenes are cool and Bill Nighy injects some well needed humour (intentionally or not). I don't think there will be any sequels though.