Friday 22 July 2016

An Englishman In Prague

I was in Prague last week for the European Rubik's Cube Championship. It's the first time I have been to Eastern Europe and there were a few things I noticed.

0) Interesting

Don't take any of this as critical. I really enjoyed my visit. These are just my observations of differences between Prague and more western cities that I have visited.

1) Lack of vowels

Czech words are really hard to pronounce, because it looks like someone has stolen lots of the vowels. There are several types of accent too, which are used above both consonants and vowels. I tried to look up a few words before I travelled... but was worried that even the word for thank-you might trip me up.

2) Patchy English

Being a capital city popular with tourists, I thought there might be some signs in English. But I didn't see any. All the signs (even the ones to tourist attractions) are in Czech. Some cafes and restaurants have menus in foreign languages, but many do not.

Lots of people do speak quite good English though. One waiter got a nice tip from us after translating the whole menu for the restaurant!

3) Cash only

We almost got caught out a few times by cafes that did not accept card payments. I'm so used to places taking cards for anything over £10 so it was a bit of a surprise that cards weren't accepted at all sometimes. So make sure you have enough cash to pay your bill.

4) Clearing tables

It seems to be standard that waiters come and clear plates and glasses as soon as they are empty. Which feels odd if you are used to them waiting until everyone has finished. We had a large range of eating speeds; so there was often someone who had an empty setting and then later one person who was the only one with a plate left.

5) Transport

The trams and metro are brilliant. But where do you buy tickets? We were told that 3-day passes were the best value... but we couldn't find out where to buy them. The stations only seemed to sell 1-day tickets. Eventually a fellow tourist pointed us at a small shop that did sell them... even though there was no visible indication anywhere inside or out that they did.

Mainline trains were a bit trickier. We ended up getting out to Radotin on a coach and then trying to get back on the train. But the ticket office was closed. We got on the train hoping to buy a ticket from the guard... and didn't see one. Later someone said there was a 400 Kc fine for being on the train with no ticket... so it could have been bad... but what are you supposed to do???

6) Tour groups

The castle was swamped with big groups of tourists. We went into a cafe that looked half empty but all the tables were reserved for tour groups. To get a decent look at anything you had to track the groups and try to fit in between them.

I find it vaguely amusing to watch people in tour groups. They all shuffle along taking photos of everything without actually looking at anything. I pity the poor families back home who have to look at the pictures... "What's that?" ... "Another church in Prague."

7) Reasonably priced

Even the inflated tourist areas weren't very expensive. And the normal priced bars and restaurants were very reasonable. Makes a nice change from other capital cities where everyone just tries to rip off as much of your money as they possibly can.

Friday 1 July 2016

True Colours

It has been a long week. In fact I can hardly believe it has only been one week since the UK voted to leave the EU.

A lot has happened and not much of it makes me proud to be British.

The worst of us have shown their true colours.

Firstly the racists didn't delay in telling as many migrants as they could to "go home". I even heard of someone who actually thought voting Leave was a vote for all the migrants to leave the UK. Morons.

Then the EU bureaucrats showed us why many reasonable people voted with the racists to leave. Jean-Claude Junker basically said "OK, piss off then, we never liked you anyway". Cheers. As a remain voter, you actually made me wonder why I ever bothered defending the EU to my leave friends.

Remainers lost their minds in despair and started crying for a second referendum because... er... they lost and didn't expect to. Millions signed a petition asking for the rules of the referendum to be changed. Sorry guys, 6 months too late.

People said "But what about the youth? It affects them so much more than the old people who voted out". And yet the turnout for under-25s was estimated at 30% compared to an overall 70%. Since this was about their future, why did so few of them bloody vote?!?

With the country in turmoil I thought we might be able to rely on our sportsmen to lift the mood. But no. Once again the mightily over-hyped millionaire footballers of England choked at a major footballing tournament and lost to the valiant amateurs from Iceland. All our hopes rest on Wales now... although I know England fans who actually want Wales to lose so they don't make England look too much like the mighty losers than we all really know they are!

Do the English want the UK broken up? I wonder sometimes. I certainly think London wants to break away from the rest of the UK next. And I've heard people say that they wish Scotland had already gone. Jesus Christ. What is going on?

With Cameron resigned but not gone what did Labour do? Their MPs suddenly decided that this was a good time to get rid of Jeremy Corbyn. The leader they never wanted. A vote of no confidence. And what happens if the party members re-elect him by a big majority again? Will all the MPs have to resign from the party? What a mess. And how depressing. Opportunism at its worst.

The other smaller parties might have been saying things, but the media didn't report anything other than Nigel Farage going to the EU to say "Na na na na na".

Then finally the Tories had to stand up to replace Cameron. In a fit of irony Michael Gove decided to knife Boris in the back, just as he had done to Cameron. Instead of standing anyway Boris just quit! So now we will probably get Theresa "snoopers charter" May as the next PM.

Bollocks. Was Orwell wrong on one thing; might Big Brother be a woman?

And it has rained a lot.